personality test : Are you emotionally stable?

You are 99% emotionally stable

"You have very high levels of emotional intelligence; you can not only detect others feeling and your own with no difficulty at all, but you also have very good adaptive mechanism. You can control your feelings very well, you can make yourself happy when you're sad and you can stay cool when your happiness might hurt somebody else. People really appreciate your emotional stability, why else they all come to you for you

its so true, i realize nowadays i can manage my emotion very well.. i know when i'm stress and down and know how to manage it.. unless, i'm very broken i will seek help from my beloved mother.. her words really soothing me and give me strength to rise up again to achieve my goal..

back then, i know i always be like a jerk, moody all the time and give bad influences to other peoples around me, but then i realize i must change the way i expressing myself..

normal la, manusia kan ada turun naik nya, tapi kalau tak sedar dan dikawal dengan betul, hancuss lahh! diri menuju kematangan adalah satu benda yang payah dan memakan masa tapi tak mustahil..
kan?

ceritera exam cardiology

this time osce cardiology pulak,
sama macam kes yang lepas, list nama atas2 tapi masuk exam last sekali, walaupun tak de lah lewat macam dulu

dan alhamdulillah, aku tak nervous sgt, masuk tu rileks je

question: auscultate the mitral area
salah tangan bila nak palpate apex of ptt, prof tanya :are u left handed?"
"eh, sorry doc, i'm not" cepat2 tukar tangan sebab masa tu tangan kanan tgh pegang stethoscope

me: S1 is muffled, S2 i'm not sure because the sound is hard to hear, pansystolic murmur ..bla bla propagate to (alamak tak check pulak sampai ke axilla, kantoi)
prof: in MR is it possible all murmur will propagate to axilla?
me: not (confidently, walaupun tak tau the reason)
prof: why?
me: emm.. (serious memang tak tau kenapa)
prof: the propagation is due to direction of ejection right? (prof cuba membantu)
me : what doctor, i still can't get it (serious memang tak tahu sebab mmg xpernah spe2 ajar pon psl reason propagation ni..adoi)
prof: i know, this question is very hard. let me explain, it is because when the ahterior leaflet is affected, the direction will be toward the axilla, but if posterior leaflet affected which is not
me : ohh.. this is really new information for me

.............

prof: during auscultation, u palpate also the carotid..why?
me: to make sure the timing of murmur is systolic which will synchronize with carotid pulsation
prof: when u palpate the carotid sometimes its dangerous. why?
me: eh.. (terkejut, xboleh palpate carotid ke) because the brain will not get the blood supply (jawpaan paling noob..keke)
prof : no no.. because it will stimulate vasovagal reflex that will cause bradycardia, especially with patient with v tach, we can do carotid massage
me: ohhh.. we can also put the ice..
prof: your method is correct to know the timing, i'm not saying that's wrong but actually u can make sure the timing by the type of murmur (obviously if harsh is MR, while rumbling is MS) or by the heart sound itself..lub dab
me : yeah doctor, but actually i can't hear clearly the murmur (patient tu obese kot, ingat sng nak dengar..susah giler nak detect..bunyi nya dengar tak dengar je)

konklusinya, soalan yang aku dapat kali ni agak rare..
dan paling best, i got many new information that i will not get in the class.. cool prof ni

inilah exam yang i dun care what marks the prof will give, its just like i'm happy with this kind of situation during exam.. learning something new, having discussion

because actually entah kenapa rasa down.. mood tak stabil
minta doa dari mak n family.. alhamdulillah everything going smoothly
whatever the result will be, i'm trying my best to be positive and struggle toward the success..

next mcq n problem solving exam..pray for me

Ceritera exam CTX

Sengaja mahu menukilkan kisah pengalaman sewaktu exam oral masa cardiothoracic round hari tu

masuk clinical year ni oral / osce exam itu biasa bagi setiap end of round..

dulu masa pre cinical tak ada pon, so nak bagi adapt tu agak sukar pada mulanya

alhamdulillah naik tahun 5 ni, dah okey sikit, tak delah nervous anxious menggila.. terkawal lagi la debar tu..

ceritanya, dalam list nama, nama aku atas2 so bajet akan masuk exam awal la kan..

rupa2nya prof yang akan access group aku tu x dapat datang, maklumlah head of department kot.. mesti busy~

so mula2 dah prepare la sebab dia yang mengajar CABG, ischemic HD bagai tu,

tau2 masa exam dia tak de, so budak2 dlm group aku tu berpecah2 masuk group lain

yang sadisnya, orang lain dah habes exam, aku dgn bebudak group baru aku tu tak masuk2 exam lagi, bayangkan dah 12.30, padahal mula exam pukul 9 camtu.. buku tu dah ulang baca khatam 2, 3 kali dah.. sampai naik give up pun ada

akhirnya, prof sampai.. kami satu group terkedek2 ikot prof, dia suruh masuk satu group terus semua sekali lapan lapan orang tu

duduk tu, aku paling tepi dekat dgn prof

prof: how many all of u?

me: we are eight, doctor

prof: so 8 + 1 ?

me : (blur) 9

prof: what is pneumothorax?

me : air inside ..

prof : ok, u next (sambil tuding ke kawan sebelah aku)

so, konklusinya. prof hanya tanya dua soalan.. what is pneumothorax? what is hydrothorax?

and all full mark..

kami gelak2 n like seriously!!

berbaloi la tunggu macam nak gila, xmasuk2 exam.. last2 prof kitorg sgt funny and nice..haha

last part, bergambar beramai2 dengan prof

tak habes2 ayat dia.. "you all are excellent group..very excellent.."

Alahmdulillah, everything going smoothly even during that time my life is upside down, serabut gilak, ada je macam2 problem.. problem apa, tak perlu lah nak cerita kot..hee

life is full of bless

who said life is dull
who said life is meaningless
who said life is about loneliness

sometimes, it's alright to have that kind of thought, but dun be too lazy to go out and see the outside world
life is full of bless

we have stigma that ijipsyen people somehow bad, annoying, disrespectful
i experienced that many time, i feel angry sometime
but relax, take a deep breath and istighfar

we have to change the way we adapting to life
the first picture can make you react in negative way, saying bad about people
then again istighfar and think about that deeply

i have some tips that i always trying to do it to change the way of my thinking and action when people do bad things to me and i receive it in positive way

first, think what will you do if u are in their shoes, if u still think what they did still not make sense
then think what surrounding effect that influencing their life, family background, place etc etc
still, u think its hard to accept why people did that, then laugh alone, its funny there's still have that kind of people in this world and fortunately i meet them right now
then, next time when u experiencing the same condition you will think, 'it's okay, i already meet that kind of people before'.. hahaha

yelah, kadang2 tak faham langsung how can they do that..bla bla..
tak masuk akal rasa.. tapi percayalah itulah manusia, pelbagai ragam

cumanya pengajaran untuk diri sendiri, kalau rasa tak suka apa yang orang buat kat kita, jangan diulang perangai yang sama dengan orang lain pulak. simple

p/s: hari ni happy melangit. alhamdulillah, baba just give me meat u know daging, fresh pulak tu.. daging aqiqah anak baba
how i love to eat meat.. dan rasa sangat bersyukur macam2 cara Allah nak bagi kita rezeki yang tak disangka2.. keke

life story: alone doesn't mean u're lonely

Bismillah

sebenarnya blur2 lagi fikir ape tajuk yang sesuai untuk post ini.. haha

biarkan diri mahu bercerita, yer, lama sungguh menyepi dari singgah ke blog ni.. lama sangat rasa

nak tahu kenapa, sebab dulu kerap menaip di sini kerana selalu rasa keseorangan, feeling lonely tak de siapa untuk diluahkan jika diri macam berserabut dengan macam2 problem.. unstable mode.. hihi

kali ini, menyinggah pon sebab rasa ada free time sikit sebab study leave untuk final first sem dah mula.. hooyah!!

ramai yang tak tahu, atau tahu je kot tapi pelik dan curious..
sekarang ini, i'm staying alone at my lovely house at alex.. i mean, i dun have any housemate..
ramai yang bertanya.. "melly ok ke duduk seorang?" tq ramai yg concern, tapi no need kot
because i'm really happy staying alone like this

pernah terfikir nak duduk sorang2 ni sejak second year lagi, memang waktu tu kalau diingat ujian paling besar dihadapi ketika mula nak survive duduk rumah sendiri.. tapi masih banyak halangan lagi waktu tu dan rasa impossible je

then, i got good housemates during my third year.. syukur sangat time tu walaupun randomly accept diorang punya pelawaan untuk masuk rumah dorang time tu,
unfortunately tak lama lepas tu sebab lepas krisis egypt pada tahun tersebut parents mereka suruh berpindah ke asrama.. but i wont sbb i really hate staying at asrama, by any means banyaklah reason2 nya yg personal dan tak perlu disebut di sini..

then, i got another person get into my house and seriously that house little bit expensive for me staying alone so memang kena cari housemate jugak time tu, tambahan pula baba tuan rumah sangat cekik darah.. tercekik2 tiap2 bulan sampai tahun tu tak keluar travel pon.. huh

but then, something happen, almost the same crisis happen to me just like before (masa 2nd year tu)..
felt like damn crazy.. serabut.. lagi2 masa tu tengah nak exam finale.

diringkaskan cerita, i hate being alone in the presence of many peoples.. get that
macam ni lah maksudnya, kau duduk dengan orang lain, tapi rasa macam kau sorang2..
i prefer being alone and actually i'm really alone, no one around me
instead of i'm in crowded or being with someone that make me invisible, no offense.. fuhh
yeah, i cannot tell more than this.. demi menjaga kemaslahatan bersama dan tidak membuka aib siapa2. tapi that thing is the worst thing happen in my life..

kemudian cahaya bersinar datang, i got the solution, someone promoted about this house and the condition not that bad.. during that time, i'm desperately need to move.. DESPERATELY.. keke

alhamdulillah, semua urusan dipermudahkan, ada la duit lebih sikit nak bayar untuk urusan pindah bagai ni
mula2 tu macam rasa unbelievable..
bayang lah dari urusan akad rumah, pindah, basuh rumah, kemas brang, beli barang sume settle sendiri.. but i made it.. i did all the stuffs and everything going smoothly
ada la jugak certain2 benda i'm asking help from my dearly friend, Auni and her housemates merangkap jiran paling dekat dgn umah dan paling tak lokek menghulurkan bantuan..

so far, right now tak de masalah la dengan rumah ni kecualilah baru2 ni 'cik ti' datang menumpang seminggu kat rumah, selamat baba dah bunuh, time tu tunggang terbalik jugak la hidup sebab habis pakaian, brg2 dikencingnya.. cess

yeah,memang nampak macam duduk sorang2 tapi tak terasa macam tu sangat.. dunia tanpa sempadan di hujung jari ajer.. ada internet, laptop.. settle! hihi
it feels more like i'm free.. rasa bebas, tak terikat dengan siapa2 dan tak menyusahkan siapa2

and when our soul is calm and in good condition, our heart and mind will easily open to see many good things happen around us
i can make friend with many good and nice peoples
i can talk freely with any ammu atau pakcik kedai bila beli brg
i can go anywhere alone without wasting time waiting for others or others waiting for me
i can eat and cook anything i want to eat

takde dah nak sakit2 kepala nak fikir kena jaga hati housemate sebab housemate pon takde.. keke
takde dah nak serabut2 tahu masalah atau aib orang yang takde kaitan dgn diri kita

dan bila berjumpa dengan kawan2 kat kelas ke, time program ke (bila rajin lah,haha) atau bila ber SC (usrah) rasa akan lebih menghargai mereka sebab jarang2 jumpa
so, xde lah nak buang masa gaduh2, terasa2 hati, berdendam ke apa..
hidup terasa lebih aman dan sempurna.. eceh~

kita belajar dari pegalaman hidup..

pengalaman mendewasakan dan mengubah cara berfikir kita

siapa yang tak merasai, tidak akan pernah mengerti

dan kita tak perlu pun meminta siapa2 mengerti kita kerana bila kita yakin kita ada Allah di sisi kita, tak ada istilah 'rasa sendiri' pon dalam kamus hidup kita.

cumanya, keluarlah dari kepompong aura negatif yan juga akan menegatifkan orang sekeliling

carilah jalan atau cara yang dapat menjadikan diri kita sentiasa positif dan berlapang dada untuk melakukan sesuatu

bila diri sudah positif, kita akan sentiasa terbuka untuk memberi dan berbakti untuk agama, bangsa dan negara

Personality test: Are You An Optimist, A Pessimist Or A Realist?

"You tend to be more of a pessimistic person. You don't believe in happy endings and that everything will be better tomorrow, you know better than that. You know that our life is not always in our control, and that we are all vulnerable. That knowledge enables you to live a rather disappointment-free life. You're not necessarily a non-happy person or depressed, not at all. You just expect the worst, and then you're more excited when something good happens, eventually. And good things DO happen from time to time.."

yeah.. expect the worse in order not to be frustrated too much..

life is not about being unhappy all the time but to be happy with the person that worth it.. with my beloved one, my parents, my family, my friends~

that's how i live.. and after something happen be realistic to accept the situation

I am introvert. so what?

sumber : http://playfullytacky.com/2014/07/16/things-you-should-know-about-introverts/

Things You Should Know About Introverts

1) We need to recharge alone. 
This right here is the cusp of the entire introvert v. extrovert debate (if there is one, anyway) – Introverts need to be alone to recharge. We tend to get completely worn out by socializing. This is basically what it means to be an introvert.

 2) We don’t hate being around people, but we probably hate crowds.
I love being with people, but if you drop me into a large crowd I instantly feel like I’m alone and invisible. I try to avoid situations where I feel that way,so I may decline your open invitation to some random event. It doesn’t mean I don’t like to be around you, it just means I like to have more control over my surroundings.

3) We don’t mind silence.
 I can sit beside you in silence and not think we are having a bad time. This is especially true on road trips and can be a little confounding to true extroverts. For this reason, I especially like going to the movies where it is already considered rude to chat. Rule #1 for dealing with introverts – Don’t tell me I’m “too quiet.” I hate that. Sorry I’m making you uncomfortable, but you really don’t get to decide how much I have to talk.

4) Just because we are introverted doesn’t mean we are shy.
 Introvert and shy are actually two different things. Google it! In my case, I’m a shy introvert (the double whammy!).

5) We can turn on an extroverted personality when necessary, but it is especially draining. 
See #1 and #2. I have no problem getting up in front of a group of people and giving a talk. I don’t even get nervous by a question and answer period. But – here is the thing – I will need major recharge time afterwards and I won’t be able to keep up this extroverted illusion all day. I can turn it on to dazzle a crowd, but if you take me out for lunch afterwards, I’ll probably just listen to you talk. Iam an excellent listener.

6) We aren’t judging you. 
See #3. Did I get quiet? Do I have a mean look on my face? I’m not judging you; I’m just wrapped up in my thoughts with my bitchy-resting-face on. I might have even forgotten you were there. Sorry, just poke me. I didn’t do it on purpose.

7) We secretly love it when you cancel plans. 
I like being with you, but finding out I suddenly don’t need to be “on” and it wasn’t actually me that backed out? – priceless! Don’t worry if you have to cancel, I’m probably thrilled to be able to stay in my pajamas.

8) We can get very wrapped up in our own thoughts. 
My inner monologue is epic. When you have a strong monologue constantly running in the background, it is pretty easy to settle-in and listen for a while. I have to work through things in my head before I proceed, so I usually need a few minutes. When I’m ready to move forward though, I am 100% on top of it!

9) We can be pretty bad at connecting. 
You know when you have had a really bad day and you just want to call up a friend and chat? Yeah, I’m bad at that. I tend to wait for extroverts to reach out and include me, so when the time comes that I need support, I can be a bit lost.

10) We don’t like to hang around. 
That time after an event or meeting ends and stragglers hang around to talk – yeah, I know this is the perfect time to make more plans, connect with new people, and get involved with future projects, but I really really really hate this. I’m probably already checking my phone in my car before you have even picked up your purse. Small talk with strangers is my kryptonite.

11) We have strong opinions. 
Just because I have difficultly sharing them sometimes doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions. Give me an extra minute to compose my thoughts and I will continue to push myself to speak up sooner. It is a give and take here.

p/s: here i did another peronality test and the result showed : (at http://www.humanmetrics.com/hr/JTypesResult.aspx )

Introvert(67%) Sensing(1%) Feeling(25%) Judging(33%) 
You have distinct preference of Introversion over Extraversion (67%)
You have marginal or no preference of Sensing over Intuition (1%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)